Written by Samantha Carter
Major grew up in a popular college town. For him, this meant lots of drinking and partying from a young age. However, as life went on, his habits only seemed to worsen, illuminating a problem with addiction that would take many years to overcome. When Major finally came to All Points North (APN) Lodge after decades of on-and-off-again sobriety, he knew his healing journey would need to look different from past attempts.
Now, Major is opening up about his road to recovery and what he’s doing this time around to ensure a sustainable, sober future. To learn more about Major and his path to wellness, check out the full APN podcast episode, Workaholism Fueled My Relapse: Recovery x Major, or continue reading the article below.
12 Going On 21
Looking back on his life, Major reflected on the way that his upbringing contributed to the start of his alcohol and substance abuse issues.
“I grew up in Chapel Hill, North Carolina,” Major said. “Being in a liberal college town with the UNC’s campus a mile away, we certainly knew what fraternity parties were at a pretty young age. By the time we were, you know, 12, 13, 14, we were venturing in the front door of those fraternities and things like that—getting a quick education and becoming very social.”
At just 12 years old, alcohol became a regular part of Major’s life.
“I started to have my first experience with alcohol probably when I was 12 or 13 years old,” Major said. “Then, I went away to private boarding school outside of Philadelphia and … [there was] a lot of kind of self-experimentation … I think it was difficult for a lot of us when we were 13, 14, 15 years old being away from our parents … You know, the weekends were very social and we kind of learned how to drink and learned how to drink secretly.”
From high school into college, Major didn’t stop his recreational substance use.
“I like to be and still like to be in very social environments,” Major said. “I think the drinking progressed along. You know, you get into college and I joined a fraternity and the lacrosse team. It was exactly the way you can imagine—try to work as hard as you can in the classroom but then you get social and get partying as hard as you can on the on the weekends.”
Major commented on the way that drinking and drugs played a role in his sense of identity.
“You want to fit in. You know?” Major said. “We [all] want to be a little unique and sometimes being unique is maybe [being] the guy who can drink a little bit more or drug a little bit more than the next guy and that sort of sets you apart. It’s an interesting dynamic because I think we want to fit in but we also want to set ourselves apart.”
Falling in Love With Food and Beverage
After college, Major fell in love with the hospitality industry, which only brought further pressures to maintain his drinking habits.
“I think that’s really when things sort of ratcheted up—escalated, you know?” Major said. “The drug use, the alcohol use, was now a daily thing. Here [I was] in a new city, [with] new people, new friends, living in a big house in the Haight-Ashbury and chasing the old Grateful Dead around the country. Again, [I was] still trying to find that identity.”
Being in a big city like San Francisco, Major felt the pressure to once again work hard, play hard.
“It’s been a career for me but, again, it was work hard, play hard,” Major said. “That society – that world – was very cutthroat … At 24, 25 years old, I was able to keep it together and kind of come up through the ranks … [Then] I was offered a job in Aspen Colorado [and] jumped at it [at] 25 years old. I was Assistant Manager of one of the hottest restaurants in Aspen … [Before long, I] start[ed] my day off with a spiked cup of coffee and a little something else to keep in the game and keep it moving.”
While Major was able to present an outward portrayal of success, he knew deep down that he wasn’t where he wanted to be.
“Seeing myself on paper excelling but, by no stretch of the imagination, [excelling in my personal development, was hard],” Major said. I’m certainly humble enough to admit that.”
Seeking Sobriety for the First Time
Several years later, Major moved back to his home state of North Carolina where he started to unravel the gravity of his substance use.
“That was really a point where I knew there was a serious issue,” Major said. “I hadn’t stepped into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous yet. I hadn’t really addressed the issue. Certainly [there were] parents and friends [whose] eyebrows were raised because of my drinking and behavior and things like that … By the time I was 31 [in] November of 2001, I decided that [I] better do something about this.”
With the help of his parents and friends, Major sought treatment for the first time in his life.
“I did a 30-day treatment program at Pavilion International,” Major said. “[Then from] 2002 until 2015 – almost 14 years of sobriety – I dove right into Alcoholics Anonymous … I had thrown my arms up and just said whatever they tell me to do—whatever those crazy folks in there tell me to do, I’m gonna do it … But then, again, I think human nature says [that when] you get comfortable with something, you start to take your hands off of it.”
On and off the Wagon
After a long stint of sobriety, Major found himself on and off the wagon for the next several years.
“[I was working really hard and then] mid-2015 really just decided it would be in my best interest to read the newspaper and have a vodka and tonic for no apparent reason,” Major said. “[It had] been so long since [I’d] felt the devastation of what alcohol did to me, [I] forgot. I looked down at my watch [and realized] I hadn’t been to an AA meeting in probably six years, maybe seven years.”
At that point, Major decided to seek treatment again, but his efforts proved to be incomplete.
“[Between 2015 and then prior to coming to APN] there were long terms of sobriety in there – two or three years at a time – but then again falling off the wagon,” Major said.
Eventually, Major realized that he needed something different than he’d tried in the past to truly help him beyond the grips of his addiction.
“I had gotten to the point at the beginning of 2022 where I was trying to stay sober,” Major said. “It was a week on, a week off, two weeks on, two weeks off—just kind of this roller coaster. It was very obvious to friends and family that perhaps I needed help … [Then] APN [came] highly recommended [with] a focus on health and wellness as well as world-class therapy and classes.”
Coming to APN
While Major had been to treatment, he had never been to any place quite like APN.
“When I got to APN, I really had to dig deep,” Major said. “[The] therapist that I had – Dustin – especially was fantastic, [with an ability to] kind of pull my insides out. Whether it was grief and loss, whether it was the people pleasing, whether it was my attempts to be something or someone that I wasn’t. [I] really just kind of [put] on this dance in life to impress people, or impress employers, or impress peer groups … APN did a remarkable job [of illuminating that for me].”
It wasn’t just the staff that Major immediately connected with. It was also the other participants at the treatment center.
“I was very lucky that over my 90-day period of time spent at APN [that] I had a great group of guys [in my] process group,” Major said. “We became very tight … and that camaraderie and that friendship was formed … you really start to talk about a lot of things that you may have never talked about before … I think that just created those friendships … and [I] still keep up with probably 70% of the guys that were in that room.”
With a focus on mental health just as much as on addiction recovery, APN was really able to tap into a component of Major’s healing that he hadn’t gotten at previous treatment centers.
“APN really addressed a lot of my mental health issues,” Major said. “I’ve never been diagnosed with clinical depression or any of those things but I think I probably suffered from quite a few of those things—whether it was depression or embarrassment and shame and all of that. I think in past treatment centers or facilities I wasn’t able [to] do a lot of one-on-one [where] a therapist really got to know [me] and [who I am or who I want to be].”
Learning From the Past and Supporting Sobriety in the Present
By diving into the core issues that kept fueling his addiction, Major was able to better set himself up for success after leaving APN.
“I think one of the main things now is routine for me,” Major said. ‘Whether it’s getting up in the morning, doing a reading out of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, or [something] as simple as saying the serenity prayer … I’m working on just being and not doing all the time. But I think it really boils down to day-to-day getting in a very healthy routine … I think for anybody – whether it’s mental health, whether it’s substance abuse – when you get out of here, you want to live healthy.”
Part of setting up these routines is also taking part in APN’s aftercare offerings.
“I love taking part in the outpatient program and telehealth that’s offered through APN,” Major said. “Once you walk out of APN, it’s not the end. You know? It’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress.”
While Major’s road to recovery has certainly been a long one, he’s learned things along the way that have helped him get to where he’s at today. With a new approach to prevention and maintenance in his sobriety, Major can now enjoy the benefits of the new life he is building for himself.
If you’re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs, submit our confidential contact form or call us at 855.934.1178 today. You never know how good your life can get when you take a deep dive into the reasons for your persisting problems.
More From Major
Listen and watch Major’s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
