RECOVERY x APN
On Recovery x APN, our alumni explore personal stories of trial, triumph, and treatment at APN Lodge and beyond. During each one-on-one interview, guests share what life looked like before coming to All Points North Lodge, what they experienced during substance use and mental health treatment, and what life is like now. Alumni reconnect with APN Staff members who played a significant role in their journey and share the incredible challenges and gifts they’ve realized during their time in recovery.
Just a quick listener note: this show contains raw conversations about drugs, alcohol, childhood trauma, sexual assault, active addiction, and suicide. It also contains coarse language. Please use care when listening.
S1E1: Addiction Helped Me Cope Until It Didn't
Recovery x Dan
Welcome to Recovery x APN — a show about addiction, recovery, and life. In this first episode, Dan, shares his own recovery story: how he somehow went from a party-loving 20-something professional in New York City to a 30-something going face-to-face with addiction. Join Dan as he walks through the struggles of his story and his journey to recovery.
S1E2: I Had to Surrender to Overcome My Addiction
Recovery x Andy
Andy shares his addiction recovery story. He recalls the cold New Jersey nights when he attempted detox alone in his car, the desperation and sheer luck he experienced throughout his journey, and the long road that brought him to embrace his purpose and support APN clients. Join Andy as he recounts his mental health journey, from the darkest hours to brighter days.
S1E3: My Addiction Made Me a Person I Didn't Recognize
Recovery x Kyle
APN alum, Kyle, shares his recovery story: how alcohol distanced him from his friends and family, why he returned to All Points North Lodge for a second round of treatment, and what he’s learned from the meaningful relationships he’s forged along the way.
S1E4: I'm Not Going to Let My Alcohol Addiction Win
Recovery x Katy
APN alum, Katy, shares her recovery story: how numbing PTSD from childhood turned into alcohol addiction in adulthood, the moment of clarity that brought her to APN, the reality of treatment and what she gained from her return to All Points North Lodge, and how she’s breaking the cycle with her husband and kids.
S1E5: I Don't Have to Deal With My Trauma Alone
Recovery x Peter
APN alum, Peter, shares his recovery story: how a bad trip and marijuana triggered PTSD flashbacks that led to debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, OCD behaviors, and physical health symptoms. Peter shares how getting the support he needed helped him get to the root of his symptoms, address sexual childhood trauma, generational trauma, and dysfunctional family dynamics, and start healing.
S1E6: Finding My Identity Outside of Football and Depression
Recovery x Marcus Smith II
APN alum and retired NFL player, Marcus Smith, shares his recovery story: how a lifetime of suppressing depression symptoms led to him almost losing his life to suicide. Marcus shares why he came to All Points North Lodge and how he learned to unpack his trauma and identity, get to the root causes of his depression, and discover tools that help him thrive in recovery.
S1E7: Addiction Treatment Saved My Life
Recovery x Dave
APN alum, Dave, shares his recovery story: how he used alcohol to cope with childhood trauma until it consumed his daily routine. Dave shares how one phone call from a caring friend changed the trajectory of his life, pushing him toward treatment and helping him find healing.
S1E8: Depression Treatment Saved My Life
Recovery x Dusty
APN alum, Dusty, shares his recovery story: how an injury ended his professional athletic career and triggered debilitating mental health symptoms. Dusty worked to rehab his physical injury but experienced a devastating separation from friends and family who didn’t understand his pain. When depression threatened to swallow him whole, he found support in a caring therapist, Shelly, who encouraged him to pursue treatment at All Points North Lodge, where he received the life-saving care he needed to heal.
S1E9: My Addictions Were a Symptom of Trauma
Recovery x Elliott
APN alum, Elliott, shares his story: how childhood trauma and poverty created the perfect storm for addiction, the pressures of working in behavioral health while maintaining his recovery, and why he came to All Points North Lodge for trauma therapy with years of sobriety under his belt. Elliott recounts how he overextended himself professionally and personally after treatment, creating unescapable pressure, anxiety, and burnout. A return visit and the Professionals program at the Lodge helped him finally get to the root of his addiction, anger, and work addiction. From there, he could move forward with boundaries and support from the APN telehealth team.
S1E10: I Am Not Alone in My Trauma
Recovery x Dahbra
APN alum, Dahbra, shares her story: how she turned to excessive drinking and drugs to cope with sexual assault during her time abroad. After feeling consumed by anxiety, fear, panic attacks, and embodied trauma, Dahbra entered treatment at All Points North Lodge, where she found hope, safety, comfort, and healing.
S1E11: I Had to Open Up About My Mental Health to Win
Recovery x Turk McBride
APN alum and retired NFL player, Turk McBride, shares his story. Years and years of sacrificing his mental health for his physical performance led to a devastatingly abrupt end to his NFL career. After trying to navigate depression and isolation, his wife confronted him with an emotional conversation and encouraged him to attend treatment. At All Points North, Turk showed up with intention and learned to trust his peers enough to feel safe getting vulnerable. From there, Turk opened up and embraced the opportunity to become the best version of himself.
S1E12: Families Do Recover
Recovery x The Brody Family
Dan’s mom, Debbie, and sister, Perri, share their experiences: how they watched Dan struggle with active addiction, how they learned to surrender and provide support with boundaries, and how they navigated the challenges of rebuilding a healthy family dynamic in recovery.
S1E13: My Chronic Illness Stemmed From Trauma
Recovery x Abbey
APN alum-turned-employee, Abbey, shares her story: how she discovered that decades of stress, loss, inflammation, misdiagnoses, medications, autoimmune flare-ups, and fertility issues compounded as trauma, keeping her stuck in a cycle of chronic illness. After trying every healing modality she could think of, Abbey sought relief from trauma’s mental, physical, and social impacts with a stellate ganglion block (SGB). Her first treatment triggered an immediate psychological and physical reset. SGB paved the way for Abbey’s recovery, empowering her to maintain her newfound wellness, manage stressful situations, and live a life healed from the physical injury of trauma.
S1E14: Treatment Gave Me Hope for a Better Life
Recovery x Ashley
In this special recording with a live audience of clients and staff at All Points North Lodge, APN alum, Ashley, shares her treatment experience and an update on her life in recovery. After previous treatment programs didn’t fully meet her needs, Ashley’s alcohol addiction brought her to a dark place with no end in sight. A loving push from her family helped Ashley find her way to All Points North where she was able to immerse herself in a safe environment and fully surrender to treatment.
S2E1: I Thought Being Happy Was Impossible
Recovery x Amy
APN alum, Amy, shares her recovery story: how a desire to block out difficult thoughts and emotions led to alcoholism and repeated attempts at recovery. Amy shares her experience with going to treatment multiple times as a parent, how community support and opportunities to learn at APN helped fuel her personal transformation, and the relief she found in forgiveness and helping others.
S2E2: I Can Be Present In My Life Now
Recovery x Lily
APN alum, Lily, shares her recovery story: how childhood trauma, a chronic health condition, and multiple suicide attempts led her to seek treatment. Lily discusses what it was like to uncover hidden substance misuse while receiving trauma treatment at APN Lodge, how she chose to delay her education to start treatment, what she did to find herself after years of feeling disconnected, and how recovery has altered her outlook on social media, relationships, and life.
S2E3: Workaholism Fueled My Relapse
Recovery x Major
APN alum, Major, shares his recovery story: how normalized alcohol use led him to drink in his youth and into his career in the restaurant industry. He recalls how he used alcohol and substances to fuel his performance at work until he sought help and entered treatment. Grief, loss, and people-pleasing contributed to a relapse that eventually snowballed out of control. Major shares what it was like to return to treatment after 13 years of sobriety, how the bonds in APN process groups helped reignite his recovery, and what he does now to stay on track.
S2E4: Rock Bottom Was My Way Up
Recovery x Brooke
APN alum, Brooke, shares her recovery story: how managing multiple autoimmune diseases escalated to pharmaceutical and alcohol misuse, a car accident, and finally, treatment. Brooke recalls some of the early recovery strides she made at APN that inspired her to extend her stay past her initial 30-day goal and how HBOT sessions relieved long-term autoimmune symptoms and concussion headaches, improved her ability for physical activity, and helped her deepen her efforts in process groups.
S2E5: Finding Myself After Religious Trauma
Recovery x Jason
APN alum, Jason, shares his recovery story: how childhood trauma and religious trauma led to addiction. After years of struggle, Jason recognized he had a potentially fatal problem and entered treatment at APN, where he found community among other Orthodox Jewish clients in his process groups. Their stories affirmed his lived experience and helped him invest in his healing. Jason shares how recovery helps him support his community and recalls how he learned to move beyond shame, create space for himself within his faith, and prioritize his recovery.
S2E6: Learning to Trust Myself After Trauma
Recovery x Tiffany
APN alum, Tiffany, shares her recovery story: how she found healing after surviving a sexual assault and enduring PTSD, anxiety, and depression. She recalls her desperation to be free from pain and how she used alcohol and pharmaceuticals as a buffer to cope. Eventually, she realized she had a problem and entered treatment. The strides she made in individual and group therapy sessions at APN Lodge encouraged her to embrace alternative healing modalities like deep TMS, which helped her find relief from anxiety and hypervigilance and propelled her toward long-term recovery.
S2E7: I Had to Reframe My Thinking to Heal
Recovery x John Abraham
APN alum, John Abraham, shares his recovery story: how he struggled with suicidal ideation, reckless behavior, alcohol misuse, and self-harm for many years. Despite trying to manage his mental health, he eventually suffered a manic episode that landed him in a hospital, where he attempted suicide. After joining AA, John realized he needed more support and entered treatment at APN. He recalls the stages of his recovery, his return visits to APN Lodge, and how gratitude, personal accountability, and perspective taking helped him start living a more satisfying life.
S2E8: Discovering My Autonomy After Trauma
Recovery x Jennie
APN alum, Jennie, shares how her battle with bipolar disorder and suicidal ideation started in elementary school and worsened throughout decades of trauma. She survived multiple sexual assaults, near-death experiences, catastrophic losses of loved ones, and a mysterious illness. After her daughter endured a devastating loss, Jennie’s fight-or-flight response became inescapable. She embraced healing with group therapy, trauma exercises, dTMS, and an SGB. With time, Jennie gained a sense of personal agency and learned how to create balance in her relationship with her daughter.
S2E9: I Found Safety on the Other Side of Anxiety
Recovery x Stephen
Stephen shares how he left the military and entered a world of anxiety, insomnia, emotional dysregulation, and flashbacks from a traumatic childhood. When therapy and breathwork failed to relieve his panic attacks, his brother connected him with APN Lodge. After some initial hesitancy, Stephen let his guard down to experience a significant transformation and found support, safety, and confidence among therapists and other clients in group therapy sessions and the APN Professionals Program. The security he found in treatment helped improve his relationships, quality of life, and self-acceptance.
S2E10: I Broke the Cycle of Military Trauma
Recovery x Elle
APN alum, Elle, shares how unresolved childhood trauma, internalized rage, and military sexual assault led to trauma, complex PTSD, and suicidal ideation. After she survived a sexual assault as a public affairs officer in the Marines, the military failed to seek justice for Elle. Later, she fell into a suicidal crisis with no support. Elle pushed herself into treatment at APN Lodge, received specialized Veteran care, and found community among other military sexual assault survivors. Now, outside treatment, Elle continues prioritizing her mental health with HBOT, deep TMS, ketamine-assisted therapy, personal training, and other healing modalities.
S2E11: Connection Broke My Opioid Addiction
Recovery x Dave
APN alum Dave shares how a back injury led to a decades-long struggle with opioid addiction rehab, personal losses, escalating drug and alcohol misuse, deteriorating health, and concerned family members – with fleeting periods of sobriety throughout it all. Dave reached his turning point when the physical effects of his addiction began to show in his outward appearance. Soon after, he entered treatment at APN, where he found support and therapeutic connections in process groups, rebuilt his physical and mental health, and worked closely with a therapist to release shame and reshape his life story.
S2E12: I Deserve Sobriety
Recovery x Christine
APN alum, Christine, shares how a battle with prescription drugs marred her early adulthood. After stealing, using, and ending up unconscious while on the job, she was terminated from her position as a nurse and finally had to confront her addiction. At APN, she underwent a transformative shift in perspective with therapy and peer support, allowing her to fully show up for herself and her recovery. The bonds she formed during treatment and her experience with sober fun continue to ground her as she reclaims her wellness and career.
